Gifted Kids’ Empathy: A Blessing or a Curse? Unpacking the Complex Reality

The empathy displayed by gifted children is no longer surprising; it seems to be an integral part of their personality, dominated by emotions they sometimes struggle to control, and their heightened sensitivity. They feel anguish for countless situations that wouldn’t even stir others. A dying flower, a distressed tree deeply upsets them, and the plight of a suffering or injured animal is unbearable. They grieve unreservedly when a peer faces tragedy, and while it may be astonishing to some, these children simply cannot remain indifferent. Their very nature means they deeply feel any harm to the physical or moral integrity of any living being, and even a broken doll can sadden them, for it too had a soul, as it was loved.

It’s clear they are incapable of bullying anyone or causing the slightest harm, but their strong sense of justice sometimes forces them to act tougher than they would like, a necessity for effective action. They expend all their energy and talents to succeed in competitions without yielding to the temptation to take it easy; they emerge victorious but their triumph is shadowed by the sadness of the losers, which they feel intensely.

They often have to battle with themselves, being constantly reminded that they need to manage their emotions, but the effects of their boundless empathy are often overlooked: later in life, it could make them targets for unscrupulous manipulators who exploit this perceived weakness without any remorse. This overly kind and gullible person was an easy target.

Their entire being is suffused with empathy: while it makes them prime targets for malevolent individuals, it also enables them to perceive even the deeply buried emotions of others, to understand suppressed feelings, to catch unspoken words, and to react based on what they have naturally perceived, unsurprised by their clear understanding of others.

It’s the incredulity of some, who are fundamentally rational, logical, and Cartesian, they state confidently, that makes them think this trait is not shared by all, that it might even be quite rare since it surprises and seems inexplicable. These constant, accurate insights cannot be just coincidental.

It isn’t merely intuition; it comes with profound pain when another is hurting, depriving the empath of resources to fight off the suffering, whereas the person who is actually suffering finds ways to draw upon their own unique inner strengths for support and aid.

This empathy defies all reason, and some animals accustomed to human life also exhibit it: they are not rational, they do not speak human language, but they perfectly grasp human feelings, naturally comforting and even healing humans when necessary, alleviating any pain without anyone questioning or doubting these reactions. This is pure empathy.

The Complete Misunderstanding Between Extreme Empathy and None at All

Conversely, and perhaps even more surprisingly, some individuals completely lack empathy: they do not understand others’ reactions and can inflict pain, both moral and physical, effortlessly. The concept of total empathy is hard for most to grasp, but the complete absence of empathy is equally baffling. Terms like cruelty and sadism apply here, as the perpetrators relish the reactions their actions provoke, feeding off them. Nothing can be expected from them; they lack remorse, and if they express regret or self-reproach, it’s only because they were caught in their acts of malice.

A vast chasm exists between these two extremes, making any dialogue impossible; it’s a complete misunderstanding from both sides. The concepts, the meanings of words used to communicate differ so greatly that the one lacking empathy cannot fathom the other’s feelings, viewing what’s described as deep turmoil as trivial, superficial, and unwarranted—a mere whim.

Thus, abandoning an animal that has been a close companion for years because it has become inconvenient poses no issue for them; they see no reason for guilt and view anyone who expresses genuine outrage and empathy for the animal’s plight as foolish and childish.

The empathetic individual advocates for order in alignment with the harmony that should guide the world, acting to preserve this order to avoid suffering. In contrast, those indifferent to these concerns wish to maintain their own order, believing they are fully justified as it ensures their utmost comfort. Others are seen as dangerous idealists for challenging their view of life, convinced that one should never mix emotions with daily life; it would only lead to a messy tangle of often intense, always disproportionate, and ultimately baseless feelings.

Managing the Excess Empathy of Gifted Children

Many gifted children, and the adults they become, must train themselves to combat this excess empathy, which can lead to unrelenting suffering. Only a robust control of their emotions can mitigate the detrimental effects of an overwhelming empathy. Rationality must prevail. While there are many techniques available, empathy is stubborn, clinging to the heart and body. Combating its effects is a tough battle, but victory is possible: physical and mental exercises, similar to those used by elite athletes, can help those aiming to advance society as a whole by creating a soothing harmony, rather than just a few individuals seeking to benefit from it.

Advice: It’s best not to delay and to introduce these control methods early to help overly empathetic children due to the risk of bullying. However, when well-managed, this same empathy can be encouraged as it helps avoid misunderstandings, the source of conflicts, and brings a welcome peace to any group.