30-Year-Old Woman Leaves the Love of Her Life Due to His Overbearing Mother

Several years ago, I met Bastien on a movie set. I was an assistant set decorator, and he had a small acting role. We clicked almost immediately. After years of dating the wrong people, here was a guy my age who was just as passionate about cinema as I was, attractive, and not as self-centered as actors often are. Not long after we met, he invited me over for lunch at his place on a Sunday. He was still living with his parents in a house near Paris. I was quite shy, so I was hesitant at first, but I went. We hit it off right away. His parents were also in the film industry—his father a cinematographer and his mother an actress—both very cool people.

However, from the beginning, I sensed something odd about Bastien’s mother. She would talk to herself occasionally, which my boyfriend explained away as her rehearsing her lines. She smoked a lot, often leaving her cigarettes burning in the ashtray. One time, I caught her using the bathroom with the door open, which didn’t seem to bother her at all. I chalked it up to her being naturally eccentric—a warm and caring woman who was well-connected in the movie industry. Indeed, she later helped me land a job on a historical series shooting in Southern France. My role as a decorator was thrilling. I spent nights aging furniture and distressing linens to look worn. I was totally engrossed in the work! Then one day, I overheard my “mother-in-law” complaining to the director that some of the kitchen props looked “toy-like.” She was criticizing my work behind my back!

“She Became Unbearable, It Was Skin-Deep”

I’m someone who doesn’t shy away from confrontation, so I asked her directly if she meant what she’d said. Initially embarrassed, she apologized, but she quickly became dismissive and admitted she did mean it, adding that she had even held back because “after all, she had secured this job for me.” A chill ran down my spine. Her look was so different from the one I knew—it scared me, and I dropped the subject. But she didn’t. As the shooting wrapped up, we would return to Paris, but she stopped inviting me over. I didn’t dare bring it up with Bastien.

Nearing the end of the shoot, we were in the same room, and I asked her if she wanted me to move a table she kept bumping into. I even joked about “rounding the corners,” given the tension between us. She ignored my question and remarked to the script assistant, “It’s amazing how lack of elegance reflects lack of sense.” I don’t know how long she had thought about that put-down, but it hit me hard, and I left in tears. Later, I was told she could be very “temperamental,” sometimes sweet, sometimes harsh. But that wasn’t an excuse for me; she was unbearable, and it became intolerable. I knew I didn’t want to be around her anymore, and that meant it was over with Bastien.

When I explained what had happened to him, he was extremely uncomfortable. He didn’t want to speak ill of his mother, trying to make excuses for her, mentioning that his own grandmother had recently passed away… But it changed nothing. After observing her for those four months, I knew how unstable, changeable, and toxic she was. I didn’t want that unsettling shadow over me, those piercing eyes that truly scared me. I believe she couldn’t handle aging, among other mental issues that were none of my concern. She would always target me, so I had to leave him, and it broke my heart. It was a beautiful relationship, but he lived with HER. That meant the umbilical cord hadn’t been cut. And I needed to cut all ties with her.