Secrets to a 70-Year Marriage: The Most Effective Rule According to Psychologists

When it comes to seeking relationship advice, we often encounter complex theories or ten-step programs. However, the journey of Marilyn and Bob Ritchie is far more tangible. They have known each other since they were 4 years old, reconnected in college, kept in touch through letters during Bob’s military service—it was even through a letter that he proposed—and were married in August 1956. Today, the strength of their bond is based on a clear principle that is widely supported by psychological research.

Over the decades, Marilyn and Bob have experienced many changes and faced challenges just like anyone else. They emphasize very tangible elements: communicating, being patient, and sharing laughter. “His sense of humor has helped us through many tough times,” Marilyn told Texas’s Local 12 TV station. This ability to diffuse tensions prevents conflicts from becoming long-standing issues. The couple also stresses the importance of sharing common interests, especially after retirement when couples must learn to spend all their time together. Singing together, walking together, engaging in the same activities, and moving in the same social circles creates regular moments of connection, even amid routine.

But when asked what truly explains their nearly 70 years of marriage, their answer goes beyond practical advice. “He’s my best friend,” Marilyn simply states. Bob immediately adds: “We’re each other’s best friends.” For them, everything starts there. They see themselves not just as husband and wife, but as two people who genuinely enjoy spending time together, trusting and supporting each other. Psychologists also affirm that this is a crucial element of a healthy and enduring romantic relationship.

Indeed, research by psychologist Suzanne Degges-White shows that the concept of friendship within a marriage directly influences marital satisfaction and individual well-being. The closer partners feel to each other, the more supported and understood they feel, and the stronger their self-esteem is. It’s about intimacy, respect, and tangible support every day. A study published in the Journal of Psychiatry, Depression and Anxiety also indicates that when spouses see each other as true allies, they are less likely to seek what they already have at home elsewhere. This dynamic is effective at any age.

What does this look like in practice? It means taking time to talk without the distraction of screens, continuing to engage with each other’s passions, being mindful of each other’s happiness in the relationship, maintaining joint projects—even modest ones—and not taking one’s partner for granted. It also involves accepting that attraction may evolve and that the relationship may change over time. Many couples focus entirely on the initial romantic phase and later realize they have little in common. The Ritchies, however, have built their relationship on a foundation that goes well beyond initial attraction.