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At 40, Charlotte is content with a child-free life: “I wake up at 10 am on Sundays, vacation in Mauritius, and make love several times a week.”
My husband and I lead a comfortable life, similar to that of our friends: steady jobs, a charming house in the suburbs of Lille, a French bulldog, and a car each. However, one thing sets us apart from the rest: we’ve chosen not to have children. And what’s more: it was never in our plans. While this never really seemed to be an issue until I was 35, I feel that perceptions have since shifted. Now, the topic is broached with hesitancy, as if discussing a prisoner’s final wish! “Are you really ss…sure?”
Yes, I’m absolutely sure! But it seems no one truly believes that. And that drives me crazy. Over our heads, my husband’s and mine, hangs a huge societal question mark: why don’t they want kids? What’s their “problem”? Often, without intending to hurt or embarrass me, my friends clumsily probe for “reasons”. Do I fear doing it poorly? Am I traumatized by my younger siblings? The truth might be there, or it might not. Frankly, I couldn’t care less. Do I try to understand why some people don’t own dogs, when I couldn’t live without one?
In my daily life, I feel no void. I never think, “Ah, if only I had children.” My husband and I met in Lebanon, his homeland, and we traveled extensively before he was stationed in Brussels. Those experiences fulfilled me, he fulfills me, my family fulfills me after years of separation. I don’t understand the constant looks and insinuations at our Saturday gatherings. “Look how beautiful they are together” is one of the phrases that irk me the most: the implication is clear. Why aren’t they reproducing?
“I wake up at 10 am on Sundays, vacation in Mauritius, and make love several times a week”
Often, I want to ask them if they think their life is something I dream of. They yell, they never have a moment to themselves, they worry, they endure horrors like waking up at 8 am on a cold Sunday to freeze at a soccer stadium, they don’t travel far because paying for four tickets is too expensive, and they make love once a month. I never yell, I walk my dog for two hours a day, then I go to yoga and in the evening to pilates, I wake up at 10 am on Sundays, vacation in Mauritius, and make love several times a week. Can anyone rationally explain why I should envy any aspect of a parent’s life?
Yet, this doesn’t stop me from absolutely adoring their children. Since I don’t have any myself and only see them a few hours a week, I find them quite amusing! In fact, I’m their favorite “aunt” because I love to play. However, while the playful aspect appeals to me, the educational side does not. I don’t like giving orders; I’d rather receive them… My friends don’t know this, and thankfully so!
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Nora Caldwell brings over a decade of experience in entertainment journalism to the Belles and Gals team. With a background in celebrity interviews and TV critiques, Avery ensures that every story we publish is engaging and accurate. Passionate about pop culture, they lead our editorial team with creativity and precision.
