6 Signs They’re Just Not That Into You Anymore!

As feelings fade, the attraction towards one another lessens. This typically doesn’t happen suddenly but rather gradually. “Often, the challenges and frustrations are not discussed within the relationship,” explains Claire Bustarret, a marriage and family counselor. “Certain behaviors and attitudes may then signal to your partner that you are no longer happy in the relationship.” According to this expert, there are six major behaviors that can indicate you are no longer or less pleasing to your partner.

The first sign is that your partner has become distant, this change is lasting and it’s new. “A man, or a woman for that matter, might grow more distant and cold, as if to escape the relationship; conversations between the couple diminish; silences become more frequent,” observes Claire Bustarret. Next, there is a decrease in affectionate gestures. The partner who is withdrawing from the relationship no longer displays tenderness. Sexual activities become less frequent or are avoided altogether. The playful flirtation fades and the efforts to charm the other lessen. The third warning behavior: your interactions are strained. Typically, when one partner no longer feels at ease in the relationship, a tense atmosphere prevails. Conversations become more aggressive, filled with more criticisms and hurtful remarks. Arguments become increasingly common.

When a relationship becomes stunted or less vibrant, a man might show less enthusiasm to reunite with his wife. “He doesn’t look forward to coming home, he withdraws from conversations and communicates less,” describes Karine Triot, another marriage and family counselor. The fifth sign that you no longer (or less) appeal to your partner is that he shares much less about his daily life and feelings: “The little day-to-day happenings, especially the funniest ones, are no longer shared. He also shows less interest in your affairs,” continues the counselor. In these interactions, the specialist notes that laughter plays a crucial role: “When couples laugh together less, something is fading away. Laughing less, no longer making eye contact, or not smiling at each other are behaviors that indicate the loss of feeling special to one another,” she adds.

Finally, the sixth telling behavior of losing attraction towards each other is a lack of enthusiasm for shared projects: he is tired, he has no desire, he is stressed. “This might be a sign of unease in the relationship if the person is energetic about external or personal projects but lacks any zest within the relationship,” explains Karine Triot. It’s important not to blame oneself for the situation: “The bond between the two people is no longer nourished. It’s not that the other person no longer ‘appeals,’ it’s that the emotional connection no longer fulfills what one expects from the relationship,” she clarifies. In other words, according to Claire Bustarret, it’s not the person who is no longer suitable, but the relationship that needs adjustment. “The characteristics that may have attracted and charmed at the start can become irritating over time and create distance within the couple. However, it’s possible to prevent the relationship from deteriorating by understanding where the tensions stem from,” the therapist emphasizes. “Don’t hesitate to seek help to restore that initial romantic connection,” she advises.

Thanks to Claire Bustarret and Karine Triot, marriage and family counselors, members of the Coopleo platform.