Signs He’s Checked Out: Typical Phrases from a Disengaged Partner!

Before someone outright says “I want us to break up” or “I’m filing for divorce,” there are often subtler cues that indicate waning romantic interest. Caught up in daily life, these signs might not always be recognized promptly or taken seriously. They are often dismissed as mere results of exhaustion, work-related stress, or outside influences, when, in fact, they signify issues within the relationship itself. “These are signs that the bond is loosening and the connection is weakening. It’s crucial to be aware of this so you can consider how to revive that connection,” explains Claire Bustarret, a marriage and family counselor.

For instance, if a man says, “I don’t feel like talking.” This indicates he is emotionally drained and no longer interested in making an effort, at least for the time being. It shows a lack of willingness to address marital issues. This statement could mean he is no longer interested in engaging constructively in the relationship. The same goes for statements like “I don’t want to think about the future,” “I’d rather not talk about the future right now,” or “I love you, but I’m not sure that’s enough.” All these phrases demonstrate a disinterest in planning for a shared future. He no longer wishes to think long-term.

However, the most alarming phrase—because it can easily go unnoticed—is when a man says: “Do whatever you want.” This brief five-word sentence conveys a desire to emotionally disconnect from the other person. Similarly, he might abruptly state, “I need space, I’m feeling suffocated.” In such instances, it’s important to probe the root of the problem. “Often, when one partner expresses discomfort or a need for space, the other may defensively react, causing both to become entrenched in their viewpoints. It’s important to understand what the other is expressing by asking about their feelings and relating it to specific instances: when do you feel this way? What do I say or do that makes you feel…? What would you expect from me in those moments?” advises Karine Triot.

According to this expert, when you have doubts about your partner’s commitment, it is crucial “to be alert to changes in habits. Words can mean different things to different people, based on their culture and upbringing. A man saying ‘it’s complicated’ could be hinting at wanting to leave, but it could also indicate a desire to recommit and resolve issues.” Just like words, silences can be laden with meanings. A partner, whether a man or a woman, who becomes silent is not a good sign. If your partner stops asking about your personal life, if future plans are no longer discussed, if feelings and thoughts are no longer shared, or if expressions of love cease, then it’s likely they are detaching emotionally. Here too, professional help can aid the couple in breaking this silence by articulating these issues to reweave the relationship.

Special thanks to Claire Bustarret and Karine Triot, marriage and family counselors, members of the Coopleo platform.