5 Words That Show He’s Checked Out of the Relationship: Many Women Miss These Signs

Before getting to direct statements like “I want us to separate” or “I’m filing for divorce,” there are subtler indicators that may point to a waning interest in a romantic relationship. Often, these signs go unnoticed in daily life or, even if heard, they are dismissed as the results of stress, fatigue, or external pressures. However, these could be revealing real issues within the relationship itself. “These are signs that the bond is loosening and the connection is weakening. It’s crucial to recognize them and consider how to rejuvenate that connection,” explains Claire Bustarret, a marriage and family counselor.

For instance, when a man says, “I don’t feel like talking.” This indicates he is emotionally drained and no longer willing to make an effort, at least not at the moment. It shows a lack of desire to address marital issues. Such a statement could mean he is no longer interested in engaging in the relationship constructively. The same goes for statements like “I don’t want to think about the future,” “I’d rather not discuss the future right now,” or “I love you, but I’m not sure that’s enough.” These phrases all reflect a disinterest in planning for a future together. He is showing a reluctance to think long-term.

But perhaps the most telling, yet most easily overlooked statement is when a man says, “Do whatever you want.” This brief five-word phrase implies a desire to emotionally detach from the other person. Similarly, a sudden “I need space, I’m feeling suffocated” should prompt a deeper investigation into the root of the problem. “Often, when one partner expresses discomfort or a need for space, the other might defensively counteract, leading both to retreat into their own perceptions of the relationship. It’s important to understand what the other is expressing by asking about their feelings and relating it to concrete examples: when do you feel this way? What do I say or do that makes you feel that way? What would you expect from me in those moments?” advises Karine Triot.

According to this expert, it’s crucial when doubtful about your partner’s commitment to the relationship to “pay attention to changes in habits. Words can mean different things to different people, influenced by culture and upbringing. A man saying ‘it’s complicated’ might indicate a desire to leave, or it could just as likely mean a willingness to recommit and sort through issues.” Like words, silences can also be heavily laden with meaning. A man, or a woman for that matter, becoming silent is usually a bad sign. If your partner stops asking about your personal life, if future plans are no longer discussed, if feelings and thoughts are no longer shared, or if expressions of love have ceased, then there is a possibility that they are detaching emotionally. In such cases, professional help can assist the couple in breaking this silence by articulating their issues to rebuild the connection.

Special thanks to Claire Bustarret and Karine Triot, marriage and family counselors, members of the Coopleo platform.