4 Signs You’re Dating Someone Who’ll Never Love You Back

It’s commonly said that in a relationship, one person may love the other more. But what does it truly mean to “love” someone? One individual might deeply love their partner without showing it outwardly, while another might express their affection through actions rather than words. “Instead of saying one loves more than the other, it’s more accurate to discuss relational asymmetry,” explains Anne Dejean Dubois, a marriage counselor and couple’s therapist with a background in sexology. Relational asymmetry in a couple might stem from emotional deficiencies in childhood or a sense of insecurity in one of the partners. “In cases of relational asymmetry, certain red flags can be identified,” she notes.

The first warning sign: a partner not meeting the other’s needs. Balance in a relationship is crucial, both in what we give and what we receive. “It’s essential to communicate and agree upon each person’s needs and expectations,” the therapist continues. “Some might need verbal affirmations of love, while others might prefer acts of kindness. Therefore, each partner should ask themselves: what do I need to feel loved? Once you have the answers, it’s important to share them with your partner. Reaching an agreement can prevent misunderstandings that could lead to an imbalance in the relationship.”

The second sign: unreciprocated gestures of affection. Touch is a highly developed sense from birth to death. Physiologically, it’s through touch that love is expressed and emotional bonds are formed, facilitated by the release of oxytocin, the hormone associated with bonding and social connectivity. Strokes, hugs, kisses, and embraces all demonstrate affection for the other. When one partner frequently remains distant or does not reciprocate these affectionate gestures, an imbalance inevitably deepens, leading to feelings of loving more than one is loved in return.

The third sign of asymmetric love: a partner spending little time with the other. This warrants questioning about their true feelings. If they prefer to spend time on personal hobbies or are always focused on their own activities, the depth of their feelings likely differs. Finally, the fourth sign is a lack of compromise. Life as a couple is marked by compromises because adaptations to each other are necessary. When one partner compromises more than the other or the compromises are disproportioned, it may indicate that the other is not investing enough in the relationship. Both partners must make efforts to resolve conflicts and make each other happy and fulfilled. “Keep in mind that each person in the relationship should remain an individual; two people cannot become one. In a relationship, there’s you, me, and the relationship itself—three distinct entities. The relationship should be symmetrical and balanced,” concludes the expert.

Special thanks to Anne Dejean Dubois, marriage counselor, couple’s therapist, and sexology expert.