He thought he was rescuing a sheep—but it turned out to be something else
This bizarre French customer habit is driving shop owners crazy
True love isn’t just a fairy tale concept…
The concept of true love has long sparked philosophical debates, and this remains true today. “Everyone has their own idea of what true love is, just like philosophers, therapists, or religions,” explains Anne Dubois Dejean, a marriage counselor and couples therapist. “Often, people confuse being in love with love itself.“
Being in love is a state of intense excitement across all levels, not just sexually. “Being in love can feel like a hypnotic altered state of consciousness. Those initial moments together are intense, and the presence of the other is strong: we draw closer, we seek constant connection,” our therapist describes. “It’s a natural state, but it’s not meant to last. This almost addictive need for closeness is amplified by constant communication enabled by our smartphones.” The early stages of a relationship are powerful and consuming. Sometimes, being in love competes with other aspects of a person’s life, such as their career or social circle, but these are ultimately necessary for each individual. The feeling of love demands exclusivity, especially now with social media. While this feeling is normal, it should neither disrupt work nor sideline friendships. Otherwise, the relationship cannot develop into something long-lasting.
If we were to define true love, we’d start with what it is not: “True love is not about sacrificing oneself. It never requires us to neglect or lose ourselves. Neither partner should have to adjust so much that they forget who they are. Such a relationship is doomed to fail.” In true love, feelings endure, even if they lose the initial intensity. This cooling down is necessary to gain stability and peace. True love is fundamentally a bond, a deep desire to care for another. “We provide a form of presence to one another, even in absence. We feel connected, even when apart. True love can transcend life. It can even survive death,” shares the couples therapist.
According to the expert, true love should accommodate each person’s independence, distance, and space. It should not always align with the idea of merging, which can border on confusion. Remember, a relationship involves two distinct, different individuals. A merge-heavy relationship should only be a phase, as true love requires a healthy balance between togetherness and individuality. The couple must navigate shared intimacy and a process of differentiation: recognizing their differences. It’s about creating intimacy without confusion, respecting boundaries. In summary, love does not grant all rights but primarily imposes duties. It’s a voluntary commitment that demands self-respect. True love is compatible with parenting, professional activities, and friendships.
It’s missing the other, but also enjoying being together
True love is identifiable because it includes solidarity, friendship, eroticism, tenderness, attention, and care for one another. There’s also a notion of reciprocity. Love excludes sacrifice, which would be felt as an injustice. It is, however, compatible with distance and separation: it’s about missing the other but also finding joy in being together. “In true love, mutual disappointment is possible. We can love each other deeply but also let each other down. Love isn’t focused on the other’s abilities; we love the person as a whole,” continues Anne Dubois Dejean. “Love withstands the test of time, through bodies that will evolve and change. The dignity of each partner is maintained.”
How is it expressed? True love is authentic, ethical, and reciprocal: we give and we receive. Couples love and care for each other, though not always in the same way, as different expressions of love exist. “One might use words, make explicit declarations of love, while others show their love through solidarity, presence, or gestures.” It manifests in hard times: resilience becomes reliability. We can rely on each other when it matters most. “This means: I can count on you, you’re there for me when I need you, even though I know you’re not my sole provider of solutions.“
The couple also needs rituals in showing love and celebrating it. “Love is celebrated, spoken, lived. It’s important to celebrate the meeting, a moment for just the two of us. Love is felt through intense moments; we feel good together, satisfied to be together. We also need our own space, time with other loved ones or friends. Love needs to be renewed, fed, nourished, and cultivated.”
Love should never be taken for granted. “Sometimes, crises are opportunities for ‘retuning,’ like in an orchestra: we need to stop, listen to each other, and retune, adds the marriage therapist. Crises shouldn’t scare us; they are useful for the relationship, otherwise it means one partner is adapting more than the other, and in the long run, this isn’t healthy. Ultimately, love always rests on a notion of balance: how can I meet the other’s needs without becoming unbalanced? This is a good starting point for reasoning and considering the relationship,” concludes the expert.
Similar Posts
- Many Couples Fall Into This Trap: The Seemingly Harmless Behavior That Kills Love Slowly
- 4 Signs You’re Dating Someone Who’ll Never Love You Back
- Warning Signs: How to Tell If Someone is Using You, Not Valuing You Properly!
- 4 Signs She’s Leaving You, Even If You Don’t See It Coming!
- Can You Cheat Impulsively? Unpacking Sudden Infidelity!
Nora Caldwell brings over a decade of experience in entertainment journalism to the Belles and Gals team. With a background in celebrity interviews and TV critiques, Avery ensures that every story we publish is engaging and accurate. Passionate about pop culture, they lead our editorial team with creativity and precision.
