One-Night Stands: Are They Serious? 5 Key Details to Scrutinize

Evaluating… the time and place of our meeting

Let’s be honest: meeting on Tinder and hooking up at midnight is less likely to lead to marriage than a first kiss exchanged secretly at 7 PM during a work seminar. Similarly, getting together after a few drinks in the back of a bar is less promising than a shy kiss with the best friend of our best friend. Although every story is unique and beginnings don’t always define what comes next, we often quickly sense whether a meeting signals a one-night stand or something more troubling and lasting.

Evaluating… our conversation

If the conversation was about his marriage, his kids, and his desire for a mistress, that might spell trouble for the relationship. On the other hand, if he made it clear he was single and seemed open to starting a relationship, that’s a good sign. Discussing politics, family, work, and asking each other many questions with a budding sense of closeness usually bodes well, whereas talking about condoms and his plans to move abroad for three years soon, not so much.

Evaluating… his gaze

If he spent the night looking at our breasts and failed to notice the scar on our forehead, that’s unfortunate. However, if he paid attention to our hands, laughed with us at our driver’s license photo, noticed our earrings, and checked on the condition of our risotto by calling over the waiter (because it was inedible), that’s a better sign. We’ll overlook the moment he inevitably checked out our behind as we went up the stairs—we would have done the same if he went first. It’s human nature; we even do it with our mother’s behind.

Evaluating… the way he touched us

If he approached us gently, afraid of hurting us and showing a desire to take care of us, that’s promising. A quick squeeze of the buttocks and his hand creeping between our thighs in the taxi, however, hints at a one-night thrill. The same applies in bed. If he focused on our pleasure and tried to explore us, we might view this night as the start of a long journey together. This is better than a man who mechanically performs actions, fumbling with a nipple here and flipping us there, thinking it’ll lead to his own satisfaction.

Evaluating… what we said as we parted

Maybe we thanked each other without exchanging phone numbers, or said “we’ll call” while thinking “we won’t.” But perhaps we’ve already discussed going to see a movie together and made sure to repeat our numbers twice just to make sure. Farewells are always telling. The way one closes the door says a lot about whether it will be reopened.

My current state

Determining if a meeting hints at a future together also means asking ourselves: how did I feel that night? And now? If we lived the moment just to reach a slice of heaven and forget an ex, that’s fine. We might not be ready to envision a future with Jean-Etienne (or was it Jean-Baptiste?). But if we’re dreaming of finding true love and Jean-Baptiste (this time we’re sure) seemed to fit the bill, then we owe it to ourselves to believe in the possibility and give this encounter a chance. It’s about setting up a date with a potential future relationship. Because the real question is: do I want to call him back?