Risky Business: The Perils of Overconfidence in Gifted Kids

Such a stereotypical view suits those who struggle to accept the reality of giftedness: by painting a negatively exaggerated image, it justifies the ostracism they might face. They are blamed for inciting bullying, mockery, and misunderstandings. If only they were more “normal,” they would seamlessly fit into any group. It’s clear that these alleged flaws do not truly represent them: gifted individuals are often modest, unassuming, and notably, they frequently doubt themselves.

Those who adopt an exaggerated demeanor clumsily try to impress others with a surface-level confidence that bears no resemblance to the true certainty of a gifted person when they express a well-reasoned opinion. Their contributions aim to inform or advance a discussion appropriately, not to assert any superiority. Unless you know them well and trust their judgment, their views might be challenged, often by those irritated by such intellectual precision and accurate analysis, even though the gifted individual has no intention of dominating with their clarity of thought. They are confident in their correctness because their logical mind reassures them of their conclusions.

Beneath the Confidence, Persistent Doubt

Experience has taught them that it’s generally wise to temper their judgments with qualifiers to ward off criticism: appearing too confident can be risky and attract negativity… However, several conditions must be met for an opinion to be confidently asserted: any ambiguity or slight uncertainty in describing a situation can skew their approach. Moreover, it’s surprising how people tend to hear what they wish, interpreting statements based on their interests or current concerns, believing in good faith that the speaker’s words either support their views or, conversely, provide a reason to vehemently disagree, sometimes leading to significant disputes over what was merely an opinion.

When a gifted person is plagued by doubts, which are part of their nature, they are particularly vulnerable. They are used to navigating solitary paths of thought, even if they might not seem bold enough to venture there. Children often make observations that astonish their teachers and amuse their peers: their reasoning takes them far, although this chain of thought seems quite natural to them. They might not realize that not everyone can easily grasp more complex concepts. (This process is unrelated to those who retreat into jargon that laypeople cannot understand).

Following their line of thought, often enriched by extensive reading, these children display a remarkable maturity of mind, their quick wit allowing them to assimilate a wealth of information and apply it aptly. This is a natural process, not an attempt to showcase any sort of superiority.

The Humility of Gifted Children

It is humility, more than anything, that characterizes gifted individuals, contrary to the assumption that they are often right. Just as they think they deserve no credit for an achievement because it came too easily, they do not see their gift as a rare and sometimes remarkable trait. No one would boast about an intellectual process that seems mundane. The solution seems obvious and compelling, but this very spontaneity might actually be a flaw due to its ease; there wasn’t even a moment’s hesitation in the path to follow. This is far from the arrogance attributed to gifted individuals, who are naturally pleased with the outcomes of their reasoning: it’s the satisfaction of a student who successfully solves a complex math problem.

When humility is misunderstood, feelings of being an impostor can creep into this thought process: it’s as if a stroke of luck guided my thinking, unlikely to happen again. One can imagine a gathering of gifted individuals, a class or group formed by a certain criterion, where no one would be surprised by the innovative, original, or particularly subtle ideas of others, and no one would feel compelled to view the originator of these ideas with suspicion. Instead, what might emerge is what’s known as a healthy competition, free of jealousy, rivalry, or one-upmanship.

The Perception of Others

Self-confidence is partly influenced by how others see you: if people view you as a poorly assembled puzzle, where pieces aren’t in the right places, that confidence erodes, gradually transforming into self-deprecation, especially as many tend to forget who originally came up with a solution or an innovative idea, after which so many have adopted that viewpoint that it’s hard to remember who first proposed it.

Advice: it’s beneficial to generously praise a child for a particularly tricky and difficult achievement, making sure to acknowledge the effort they still had to exert, even if it didn’t seem excessive to them. This will help them tackle increasingly complex challenges with confidence in their reasoning, never underestimating the necessary focus. Their self-image will strengthen, and they will proceed with greater boldness, undeterred by unfair criticism.