Worse Than Elbows on the Table: Etiquette Expert Reveals Even Ruder Gesture

“Don’t put your elbows on the table!” We’ve all been scolded with this phrase at least once as a child, and today, it’s a well-established rule. This custom isn’t new; it dates back to the medieval period. In the Middle Ages, banquets often hosted numerous guests, packed tightly together. Therefore, leaning on the table was avoided to not encroach on a neighbor’s space. However, there is a lesser-known, more mundane reason why this common gesture is still considered rude at the table… And unknowingly, many of us make another faux pas during meals.

Medieval banquets, seemingly friendly, were also scenes of assassination attempts and other underhanded acts. Back then, it wasn’t uncommon to see attendees discreetly slip poison into someone’s drink. All it took was to hide a vial in one’s sleeve and pour it when the other looked away. To avoid being suspicious of everyone, an unwritten rule required that one keep their hands visible on the table: elbows back, forearms and hands clearly in front of oneself. This ensured clarity about what your neighbor was up to. Concealing hands under the tablecloth was, therefore, out of the question.

“In France, hands must always stay above the table level throughout the meal,” states Hanna Gas, an expert in the field. On her blog Learning Good Manners, she also mentions that armrests are not an option. They can be used outside of meals, but “during a lunch or dinner, it is forbidden to rest your arms on the armrests,” she writes. Firstly, because it hides the hands and secondly, because it leads to slouching in your seat. The moral of the story: to stay polite, keep neither elbows on the table nor under it, and maintain an upright posture!

Ultimately, this rule, which might seem archaic, tells a story that’s more tangible than it appears. It speaks of space, security, and self-control. It reminds us that the table is not merely a place to eat but a social space where every gesture matters.