5 Signs You’re Truly in Love: What Missing Someone Feels Like

There are days when everything appears normal, and others when someone’s absence dominates your thoughts. Whether you’ve been apart for weeks or just a few days, the feeling of missing someone in a romantic sense can emerge unexpectedly: an awaited text that doesn’t arrive, a familiar scent, a memory… When it settles in, this longing shakes you like an internal tide, sometimes gentle, sometimes fierce. However, according to Elodie Cavalier, missing someone isn’t straightforward—there are actually two types: a healthy one rooted in love, and a more painful one grounded in our insecurities.

“Love-driven missing stems from connection, from desire. It is not about need, but about eagerly looking forward to being with someone again,” the coach explains. “It’s a tender, light feeling that comes from a place of completeness: ‘I’m fine on my own, but I want to share this moment with you’.” This type of missing doesn’t hurt. It’s manifested by excitement, an inner warmth, a desire to communicate, reunite, and create together. On the other hand, the painful type of missing stems from an emptiness. “It doesn’t arise from love, but from fear: fear of emptiness, of solitude, of losing someone,” continues Elodie Cavalier. This type of longing twists the gut, haunts the thoughts, and feels like losing something vital. It speaks not of the other person, but of oneself.

1. A Physical, Almost Visceral Sensation

Missing someone isn’t just an emotional state; it’s felt physically. A knot in the stomach, a tight chest, shortness of breath. “Missing can be very physical, almost violent,” notes the coach. It often signals an anxious attachment, where the absence of the other person triggers deep wounds.

2. Obsessive Thoughts

When we miss someone, we might replay past interactions in our minds, reread messages, or imagine what they are doing, where they are, and who they are with. This mental loop can become addictive, making the other person the focus of our attention. This type of missing is often amplified by a need for control and the fear of being forgotten.

3. A Feeling of Emptiness or Unreality

Some might describe it as feeling that “nothing tastes the same without him/her.” Everyday life loses its color, and usual activities seem dull. This emptiness is not just about the absence of the person, but about the space they filled within us. The more space we allow them, the more overwhelming the missing becomes.

4. Idealizing the Other Person

One trap of missing someone is that it can distort memories. “When we tell ourselves, ‘they were the love of my life,’ ‘I’m nothing without them,’ we amplify the feeling that we’re missing something vital,” the love coach emphasizes. We forget the nuances, the less vibrant moments, and we elevate the other person to an idealized status. The missing then becomes a reflection of a glorified story, not necessarily the reality.

5. A Mix of Love and Fear

Finally, missing someone often muddles our emotions. We might think what we feel proves that we still love them, when sometimes, it’s simply the fear of loss. Elodie Cavalier makes a clear distinction: “The missing born of love is gentle, the one that hurts stems from an inner void.” A good indicator? The body. If the absence causes pain, knots the stomach, or disrupts sleep, it’s touching something deeper than love.