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It often sneaks up on us, but this phase in a couple’s life is particularly tricky.
We frequently hear about the so-called seven-year itch in relationships, the onset of monotony, or the wear and tear of daily life. Researchers wanted to explore whether romantic feelings consistently evolve over the course of a lifetime and if there are specific times that are more challenging for couples. To verify this, a team followed hundreds of individuals over several years. The findings were quite definitive.
The research, conducted by Agnieszka Sorokowska from the University of Wrocław in Poland, involved nearly 300 couples who had been living together for at least two years and had no children yet. Every six months, each participant independently completed a questionnaire without discussing it with their partner. They were asked to rate, on a scale from 0 to 6, the love they felt for their significant other and their commitment to the relationship.
The responses soon revealed a pattern. For a long time, the scores remained relatively stable. Love persisted on both sides. However, at a very specific time, there began a noticeable decline. Participants reported loving their partner “a little less” and also appeared slightly less invested in their relationship. It wasn’t indicative of an imminent breakup, but the drop in feelings was significant enough to catch the researchers’ attention.
When did this slump typically occur? It was the first year after the birth of a couple’s first child. This was when researchers noted the most significant decline in expressed feelings and commitment. Interestingly, pregnancy did not seem to affect these indicators. The shift only appeared after the baby arrived and the couple’s daily life was completely upended, with the child becoming the new sole priority.
Researchers have a fairly clear idea of what causes this decline. When daily life is thoroughly disrupted, quality time together often becomes the first casualty. As psychologist Valentina Rauch-Anderegg was quoted in New Scientist, “the simple act of settling down on the couch to watch a series together or going for a walk often becomes impossible”.
Over time, these small moments of intimacy become rarer, and this can strain the relationship, even when the love is still there. The good news is that this period doesn’t last forever. Studies show that satisfaction within the relationship gradually improves over the years as both partners find a new balance and remain attentive to each other.
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Nora Caldwell brings over a decade of experience in entertainment journalism to the Belles and Gals team. With a background in celebrity interviews and TV critiques, Avery ensures that every story we publish is engaging and accurate. Passionate about pop culture, they lead our editorial team with creativity and precision.
