Science Reveals: How Long Love Lasts Before a Relationship Solidifies!

When it comes to love, we all want to believe in an eternal flame, a fire that never goes out. However, neuroscience reveals that intense passion doesn’t last forever in its original form. During an RTL program featuring neurobiologist Lucy Vincent, it is discussed that after this initial phase, relationships evolve into a new dynamic. Vincent points out that this shouldn’t be seen as a bitter truth but rather a physiological fact: the brain in love changes, emotions shift, and for a relationship to last, couples must learn to coexist with these changes.

Lucy Vincent, known for her book “The Brain of Lovers,” discusses the chemical mechanisms of romantic feelings: dopamine, oxytocin, reward circuits, and attachment circuits. She notes that in the early stages of a relationship, the brain “masks” the partner’s flaws, focuses on novelty, and the intense connection—what is often referred to as “blind love.” However, this process is not unlimited because the neural circuit for novelty eventually wears out. To maintain a lasting relationship, the couple must transition from intense romantic love to a more stable phase, which is based on companionship and shared memories. This does not mean that love dies, but rather that it transforms.

In the same RTL show, Lucy Vincent revealed the real duration of love: “Researchers who have studied this extensively say it lasts on average 18 months to 3 years”. According to her, if it lasts longer than 3 years, “it’s solid.” It’s crucial for couples to understand what happens in each other’s brains at this stage: “When that overwhelming passion stops, most people think ‘oh no, I was mistaken, this isn’t the right person’ but it’s actually a phase to be navigated. When the mad passion for the brain stops, it doesn’t mean you no longer love your partner, you simply move to a different mode of operation.”

This transition is key to building a lasting relationship. Lucy Vincent offers some strategies: maintain an element of surprise to reactivate reward circuits, nurture moments of intimacy—as every physical contact (kisses, caresses) boosts oxytocin—and focus on mutual listening and emotional resilience. She believes that by understanding the workings of the brain in love, one can take action: reignite attraction, renew companionship, and turn the initial passion into a deep connection that lasts through the years.