Unlock Lasting Love: The Two Essential Questions to Ask as Romance Blossoms

The beginning of a love story is exhilarating. You want to share everything, overlook minor flaws, and you’re already thinking about the future. Indeed, your brain undergoes a flurry of chemical reactions that alter your perception and heighten feelings of euphoria. In such a state, it becomes much harder to judge a relationship clearly. This is the issue highlighted by psychiatrist and author Marian Rojas Estapé, as reported by El Confidencial. She believes it’s critical to ask ourselves two questions to prevent this initial excitement from making all our decisions for us.

Rojas Estapé notes that many couples rely almost solely on initial chemistry, thinking everything else will naturally fall into place. However, in reality, sharing a life also depends on habits, shared values, communication styles, and the ability to navigate disagreements without everything falling apart at the slightest conflict. This perspective is contrary to some romantic clichés. The notion that “love conquers all” often doesn’t hold up in everyday life. Strong attraction does not solve life goal divergences, character differences, or conflicting expectations about family, work, or handling challenges. These issues might seem minor at the start of a relationship, but can become crucial years later.

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In this context, Marian Rojas Estapé recommends asking two questions before fully committing. The first is: “Is this relationship right for me?” The aim is to assess whether your partner truly shares your life vision and goals. The second question is: “Does this relationship make me a better person?” According to the expert, a balanced relationship should encourage personal growth, confidence, and authenticity. “If a relationship doesn’t help you evolve or make you feel good about yourself, consider it a red flag,” she advises.

As you can see, choosing a partner isn’t just about following your heart. It also involves observing the role this person plays in your life and the impact they have over time. According to Marian Rojas Estapé, this is the best way to “ensure a safe haven” for both partners. She also warns that “when we know someone isn’t right for us and we choose to continue anyway, emotional suffering is almost inevitable.”