Researchers Develop Simple Test to Determine if Couples Will Last

Known as the “Valentine’s Scale” and scientifically validated by a study published in the journal Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, this test serves as a tool to gauge the strength of your relationship through a series of questions assessing trust, emotional closeness, conflict resolution abilities, and overall satisfaction within the romantic relationship.

The Valentine’s Scale was crafted after extensive research involving over 1,300 participants. The findings demonstrated its effectiveness for both men and women. Professor Per Carlbring, one of the researchers behind the questionnaire, explained that it provides an insight into the state of a relationship without the need for lengthy, costly interviews. “It can even be used in couples therapy to monitor progress over time.“

Specifically, both partners are required to answer 7 questions or statements, choosing one response from four options:

• I am able to collaborate and solve simple problems with my partner.

Responses: Always, often, rarely, or never

• I feel that I can trust my partner.

Responses: Always, often, rarely, or never

• When my partner and I disagree or have a conflict, I recover quickly.

Responses: Always, often, rarely, or never

• How often, in the recent past, have you thought that your relationship was unhealthy?

Responses: Always, often, rarely, or never

• How often have you recently considered separating from your partner?

Responses: Always, often, rarely, or never

• To what extent do you feel emotionally close to your partner?

Responses: Very close, somewhat close, slightly close, or not close at all

• Overall, how satisfied are you with your relationship?

Responses: Very satisfied, somewhat satisfied, somewhat dissatisfied, or very dissatisfied

The more positive responses both partners check off, the better the chances of the relationship lasting. If the test reveals areas that need improvement, it’s a good time to discuss these together calmly, to see what can be enhanced. As Professor Carlbring points out, “the purpose of the test is to promote open communication and mutual understanding.” It’s not intended to put pressure on the relationship but rather to help better understand its dynamics and where progress can be made. A poor result doesn’t necessarily mean a breakup is imminent, but it could be a sign that it’s time to delve deeper into certain aspects of the relationship to move forward together effectively.