Can Couples Therapy Save Your Relationship? Find Out How it Works!

Continuous arguments, growing apart, misunderstandings, infidelities… Couples therapy can restore harmony in a romantic relationship facing tough times and potentially save the relationship. However, many find the prospect of therapy daunting. Camille Rochet, a psychologist and couples therapist, sheds light on the duration and steps involved in such therapy.

Couples therapy follows a structured and methodical process. From the first session, partners are encouraged to share their expectations and their pain. Camille Rochet explains that “the first step is to listen to their requests and the symptoms they no longer wish to experience. I listen to both partners to see how they communicate, I analyze what comes out spontaneously, and most importantly, I clarify their goals.” This marks the beginning of the therapeutic work.

Identifying what each partner seeks to heal through the relationship.

Couples therapy is more than just resolving visible conflicts. It delves deeper, exploring each individual’s personal history. Camille Rochet emphasizes the importance of understanding “each individual’s personal development.” To achieve this, she conducts two individual therapies with the other partner present, to uncover what each seeks to heal through the relationship. This phase is vital for analyzing each partner’s influence on the other. Once this analysis is complete, the objective becomes clear: to change the dysfunctional mechanisms of the relationship. “This involves letting go of futile expectations and paving the way for a new dynamic. It is crucial that each person takes responsibility for the state of the relationship,” insists Camille Rochet.

Diverse approaches are utilized in couples therapy. Camille Rochet favors “systemic family therapy, EMDR for overcoming individual traumas, and psychoanalytic analysis for a comprehensive understanding.” Each method is selected based on the specific needs of the couple. Goals are set collaboratively with both partners, taking into account their requests and identifying key aspects they may not have noticed.

“Disagreements are not a problem in themselves”

Sessions can be marked by significant disagreements. In these instances, the specialist does not hesitate to intervene to facilitate dialogue. She explains that “disagreements are not a problem in themselves, but the way they are managed together is crucial.” The aim is to make the couple feel understood and to find a solution that, although not ideal for one or the other, represents a beneficial compromise for the relationship.

The duration of the therapy varies. A thorough therapy typically lasts about two years, with sessions spaced every three weeks to a month. This time is necessary to “deeply change the relationship’s mechanisms” and allow each individual to heal their personal wounds.

Progress is measured on several levels. “I assess what partners tell me about how they feel at home, whether intimacy is calming or returning, if joint projects are taking shape, if conflict resolution takes less time than before.” These indicators help determine if the couple is moving in the right direction.