Building up frustrations inevitably leads to an outburst.
Self-confidence isn’t just crucial for personal happiness, particularly in romantic relationships, but it’s also not easy to achieve. Fear resurgence, unexplained feelings of insecurity, and communication barriers are just a few factors that can contribute to a lack of self-esteem. Camille Rochet, a psychologist and couple’s therapist, and the author of the book Thriving as a Couple (Dunod Editions), sheds light on the mechanisms to address this issue.
Firstly, if an individual lacks self-confidence before entering a relationship, being in a romantic partnership can further exacerbate this vulnerability. According to Camille Rochet, certain behaviors are particularly damaging, such as “constant criticism, judgments, infantilizing actions, comparisons, and of course, infidelities.” These actions disrupt the balance within the relationship, gradually diminishing the partner’s self-worth. This can lead to a fear of speaking freely, a constant need for validation, or submission to avoid conflicts.
Other subtle yet telling signs can indicate a lack of self-confidence. For example, “an inability to make decisions independently, a difficulty in expressing differing opinions, or waiting for the other to praise, compliment, encourage, or desire them.” The expert explains that such behavior demonstrates that the individual is sidelining their own needs and opinions out of fear of not being accepted or loved.
Maintaining Self Without Getting Lost
Building self-confidence requires effort and introspection. “The validation within a couple is important, but it should not become a fundamental condition for one’s personal well-being,” warns Camille Rochet. “The best way to support your partner is to experience things yourself. Otherwise, you position yourself as a mother, which is hard for the other to accept.” Practically speaking, “you must dare to express what you feel when your partner says or does something. Stop thinking on behalf of the other person and thus stop constantly adjusting to them. This means being able to initiate without fear of expressing a differing viewpoint. The goal is not to impose your view on both but to confront your individuality with that of the other in order to adjust without losing yourself. Often one avoids conflict to soothe the relationship, but in reality, enduring the confrontation is necessary to reach a point of agreement. And then, the peace will be true and deep.”
Sharing feelings gradually allows trust to flow: “It’s crucial to talk when you disagree or when you didn’t like how a situation unfolded. By expressing emotions, it reassures the partner lacking confidence and the one on the receiving end,” Finally, openness and sharing are vital for maintaining a healthy, trusting relationship: “It’s important to get to know your partner’s friends, to be included as a couple at events, to talk openly about work colleagues,” advises Camille Rochet. This transparency reassures and prevents the anxiety-driven scenarios that feed jealousy and self-doubt.
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Nora Caldwell brings over a decade of experience in entertainment journalism to the Belles and Gals team. With a background in celebrity interviews and TV critiques, Avery ensures that every story we publish is engaging and accurate. Passionate about pop culture, they lead our editorial team with creativity and precision.
