“Rebecca Syndrome” Common in Women, Could Destroy Relationships – What to Know!

It’s no secret that jealousy, a common emotion in relationships, can lead to significant strife. Without impeccable communication, many couples struggle due to unspoken issues and a lack of reassurance. When jealousy turns pathological, it can cause frustration and misunderstanding. While jealousy is often triggered by specific scenarios, it appears that in some cases, it is fueled by a partner’s past experiences. This is where major problems can arise. One might be dealing with the Rebecca Syndrome, which involves jealousy over a ghost from the past, typically an ex-lover.

This syndrome was named by psychoanalyst Darian Leader, inspired by Daphne du Maurier’s 1938 novel, “Rebecca.” The story narrates the plight of a woman haunted by the ghost of her current partner’s ex, Rebecca. The obsession grows so intense that the deceased former wife’s presence becomes a constant in the couple’s daily life, thereby threatening their harmony. While one might think that this “retroactive jealousy” stems simply from a lack of trust in one’s partner, it appears to be more deeply linked to childhood experiences than to the current romantic relationship.

“While these early issues are unique to each individual, they might relate to feelings of being overlooked by a parent who favored a sibling,” stated Toby Ingham, a psychotherapist, to MailOnline. “Or perhaps feelings of exclusion or insignificance from our parents or family.” People suffering from this syndrome, which is increasingly searched online, generally share significant self-doubt, a fear of abandonment, and some have experienced infidelity before.

Individuals with this syndrome often find themselves comparing their looks, intelligence, and sexual intimacy to those of their partner’s former lovers. A 2018 study based on interviews revealed that social media exacerbates this syndrome, as it allows users to easily access details about their partner’s past relationships. In this regard, the psychotherapist advises against discussing the romantic and sexual history of one’s partner. Ideally, the partner who is the focus of the retroactive jealousy should address the other’s anxieties as clearly as possible.