Family Coach Reveals: ‘Dinner Rule’ That Boosts Kids’ Confidence!

While some children are naturally outgoing from a young age, eagerly standing out and voicing their opinions, others may be more reserved and observant, often hesitant to speak on the phone or address unfamiliar adults. While each personality is unique and should be respected, learning to speak up from an early age can be incredibly beneficial for social and emotional development. These experiences help children build self-confidence, articulate their thoughts clearly, and behave politely—all crucial skills for navigating the adult world.

To assist youngsters in asserting themselves in public spaces and breaking out of their shells, Scott Donnell has devised a solution as effective as it is surprising. As a father of many, a family coach, and author of several parenting books, this American was seeking a practical way to empower his children daily. He introduced a family ritual known as the “dinner rule.”

“When we go to a restaurant, one of the kids must order for the entire table,” he shares on his Instagram account. While it might seem like a recipe for chaos, the children actually seem to enjoy it. Scott Donnell recommends starting this practice with children around the ages of 5 or 6, both to build their confidence and their communication skills, and even their memory. Indeed, the child must remember everyone’s meal choices and any specific requests, such as side dish substitutions, encouraging them to pay attention to others’ needs. “They learn at least five skills when they place the order: they make eye contact with the waiter, they learn to be respectful, they learn to answer questions. Most families just try to keep their kids busy with crayons or an iPad throughout the meal. Get them involved. Let them speak, build relationships,” explains the family coach.

Of course, if a child is truly uncomfortable with the task, it’s not necessary to force them, but practicing beforehand can also help ease their nerves. And for those worried about testing the waiter’s patience, fear not—they are likely more understanding than you might expect. Several have even commented on Scott Donnell’s video: “I prefer a table where a six-year-old orders for everyone and knows in advance what each person will have, rather than a table of indecisive adults who want you to stand there while they look over the menu,” one waitress wrote.

In essence, this straightforward method transforms an ordinary moment into a significant learning opportunity about independence and etiquette. Far from being a burden, ordering at a restaurant becomes a personal triumph that helps the child grow and assert themselves. For younger children, they can also be encouraged to order their own dessert, choose an ice cream flavor, or simply handle the change at the bakery. It’s a great way to show them trust while giving them the tools to interact confidently with the world around them.