Lawyer Reveals Key Mistake to Avoid in Court for Winning Child Custody

Divorce or separation is always a tough time, but when children are involved, the situation can become even more complex. Disagreements over parenting styles, marital resentment, or disputes about schedules can all escalate. When the relationship between the parents becomes strained and critical issues need to be resolved in court, such as child custody, it’s crucial to understand the unwritten rules to follow and the pitfalls to avoid. Family law specialist Nolwenn Leroux enlightens us on the behaviors that can be game-changers during a court appearance before a family affairs judge.

First, it’s important to grasp the paradox of the judicial system: “It can take over a year to secure a hearing date, but the hearing itself is usually very brief. Judges often spend no more than fifteen minutes per case, as they handle dozens daily.” The issue with these waiting periods is that the situation between separating parents can deteriorate in the meantime. This can lead to arriving in court and metaphorically letting the “pressure cooker” burst by displaying inappropriate behavior. “If you annoy a judge who already has very little time to listen to you, you’re off to a bad start,” warns Leroux. She reminds us that a hearing to determine child residency or visitation rights isn’t the time to air the reasons for the separation: “Often, parents make the mistake of airing their grievances in front of the judge.”

“The judge wants to hear your reasoning concerning the children, so conflicts in your romantic relationship are irrelevant,” explains Nolwenn Leroux. Her advice to clients is to remember that the focus is not on the parents but on the children, and that trying to “discredit the other” will not help. In typical situations, free from serious issues such as violence or alcoholism, “the law assumes that parents are the best people to find solutions for their children.” Therefore, there’s no point in speaking ill of your former partner: “Always reframe the discussion from the children’s perspective. With this approach, you will catch the judge’s ear because you have managed to put personal claims aside. Everything else just clutters the debate, and the judge might not even listen.”

Another common mistake in family matters, which still relates to bitterness between former spouses, is not providing all the case documents to the other party. “We see this often, as people think they’re in an American TV show. But it’s never a good strategy, as a judge will make decisions based on what they have,” the attorney points out. Or, the judge may decide to postpone the case, and you’ll have to wait months for another hearing. By trying to create obstacles for the other parent, you may actually be undermining your own cause.

Finally, when it comes to the child’s involvement, Nolwenn Leroux highlights a major pitfall: attempting to influence the child before their testimony, instructing them on what to say or not say: “Judges detect this immediately. It’s clear that these are adult words put into the child’s mouth. It’s very damaging for the child, who is caught in a loyalty conflict between their parents, and no one benefits from this in the proceedings.” In essence, during a custody hearing, the only thing that truly matters is always prioritizing the child’s well-being and setting aside purely marital disputes.