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Do you find it challenging to engage in sexual activities without having emotional feelings towards your partner? There’s no need to worry. Experiencing sexual attraction only after establishing an emotional connection has a name: demisexuality.
The term might not be widely known, yet it applies to a significant portion of the population. A demisexual person only feels desire for their partner after forming an emotional bond with them. No one-night stands or sex without emotional attachment. In an interview with Health Canada, American sex therapist Holly Richmond describes a demisexual as “someone who needs to establish a deep, strong, and secure relationship before even thinking about sexual intimacy.” Typically, demisexuals start by forming a platonic relationship, and as this bond deepens, they develop romantic feelings and sexual desire. “For a demisexual, intimacy is initially platonic. Sexual attraction grows as the relationship deepens. They really need to get to know someone to feel sexually attracted to them,” the expert adds.
Demisexuality: Do Not Confuse with Asexuality
The term was first used in 2008 by the Asexuality Visibility and Education Network. However, it’s important not to mix up demisexuality with asexuality, which includes individuals who feel no sexual attraction and have no interest in sex overall. According to Maite Tranzer, a clinical psychologist, the term is still not widely recognized as demisexuality “would redefine an old sexual identity.”
Demisexuality: A Matter of Protection or Self-Acceptance?
Thus, demisexuality is not a choice, but a genuine sexual orientation. Cartoonist and writer Zorume, who openly identifies as demisexual, criticizes the oppression she faces regarding her sexuality in an article for Marie-Claire: “Demisexuality requires support and is particularly oppressed by rape culture and the omnipresence of sex in our societies.” Today’s youth represent a more liberated society, unafraid of fleeting encounters leading to one-night stands. Using one’s body and enjoying someone else’s, while disregarding sentimental aspects, ultimately appears to be a new way to shield oneself from the pain of romantic attachment. “Generations Y and Z, hooked on dating apps and embracing increasingly liberated sexual attitudes, have highlighted demisexuality because it stands out,” adds Zorume. An insightful conclusion.
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Nora Caldwell brings over a decade of experience in entertainment journalism to the Belles and Gals team. With a background in celebrity interviews and TV critiques, Avery ensures that every story we publish is engaging and accurate. Passionate about pop culture, they lead our editorial team with creativity and precision.
