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According to Camille Rochet, a psychologist and couples therapist, the key lies in asking the right questions.
Falling for the wrong person is a recurring pattern for many. It’s common to start a relationship with someone who isn’t a good match, or worse, someone who causes pain. But why do we stay attached to these individuals? Camille Rochet, a psychologist and couples therapist, helps us identify the signs and understand the mechanisms of this attachment. How can we break free and regain control of our emotional life? Take notes.
Identifying the wrong people isn’t always straightforward. According to Camille Rochet, it often relates to personal issues. “It’s tough, because generally, we choose someone who triggers our own issues,” she explains. She encourages us to reflect: “Do I love the wrong person, or have I, perhaps unconsciously, chosen this person because they touch on my unresolved issues?” This is where the subtlety lies.
Certain signs, however, are unmistakable. A bad relationship is often characterized by repetitive behaviors that threaten the relationship’s stability. “A bad relationship is when there’s repeated infidelity and unfortunately, nothing changes. It’s also when my partner never self-reflects and our conflicts recur due to the same issues, without any desire to improve the relationship. Severe addictions that endanger the family, or instances of violence are also signs,” adds the therapist. These signs are red flags that should not be ignored. A person who refuses to find solutions despite toxic behaviors is probably not ready to build a healthy relationship. It’s crucial to step back and observe if these patterns repeat because staying in such a dynamic can be destructive.
Toxic Love or Just a Rough Patch?
An important question to ask is whether you’re dealing with a toxic relationship or just a rough patch. Camille Rochet points out that the distinction mainly lies in the duration and intensity of the negative effects. “Toxic love quickly generates anxiety, withdrawal, shame, and feelings of submission. It doesn’t take ten years; these feelings are generally noticeable quite early, usually within the first year,” she asserts. Violence and authoritarianism are often early indicators of a toxic relationship. On the other hand, a rough patch can occur at any time in a healthy relationship. “I feel that I have the power to make improvements, even if it requires external help. Here, both partners suffer and want to get better,” she clarifies. In such cases, partners can seek solutions together to overcome the crisis. Take the time to ask yourself the right questions.
To overcome this attachment, several therapeutic approaches can be helpful. The specialist recommends specific proven techniques. “EMDR, with its various protocols, works on what prevents you from making a decision,” she states. This therapy addresses traumas and blockages that can hinder decision-making capabilities.
Lifetime integration (ICV), another technique, also aids in addressing attachments. Exercises in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) are also beneficial for envisioning the future. They allow exploration of scenarios that hold one back and those that can facilitate progress. Indeed, these exercises can help visualize a future without the toxic person and rebuild self-confidence. However, the process is not simple; it requires time and patience. Professional guidance is often essential to understand the roots of this attachment and to gradually move away from it. Do not hesitate to seek help.
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Nora Caldwell brings over a decade of experience in entertainment journalism to the Belles and Gals team. With a background in celebrity interviews and TV critiques, Avery ensures that every story we publish is engaging and accurate. Passionate about pop culture, they lead our editorial team with creativity and precision.
