Common Summer Mistake Divorced Parents Make That Could Backfire

When couples are together, agreeing on child-rearing can be challenging. The complexities only increase when parents are separated or divorced. Throughout the year, shared custody is a source of conflict, but tensions often peak during the summer holidays. Besides the petty squabbles that arise between estranged partners, there are also oversights that many are unaware of, which could eventually backfire in family court.

It’s common to think of situations like a parent wanting to take their kids abroad without the other’s consent. However, even seemingly minor activities might require both parents’ approval. “People don’t consider it because they assume they can do whatever they want during their custody time. But it all depends on what you’re planning to do!“, explains Nolwenn Leroux, a specialist in family law. Indeed, with joint parental authority, parents “must be accountable to each other” but don’t necessarily have to share EVERY detail. This is where the law differentiates between ‘usual’ and ‘unusual’ acts.

On one hand, there are the everyday matters, “which are not serious, don’t affect the future of the child or their fundamental rights, or are part of an uncontested prior practice.” In these cases, as stated in Article 372-2 of the Civil Code, a parent doesn’t need the other’s permission. “You don’t need to ask the other parent to take the kids to the beach or go biking“, notes Ms. Leroux. However, for ‘unusual’ acts, it’s a different story. This could range from a significant medical treatment to enrolling in a private school, or even “engaging in a dangerous sport“, according to the public service website. One of the key mistakes separated parents make during holidays is enrolling their child in an activity considered dangerous without the other parent’s consent.

“People immediately think of activities like bungee jumping, but it could also include sliding or combat sports, a canyoning trip, or even an afternoon at an adventure park! Whenever there’s a safety protocol to follow or a need for a supervisor, it might be deemed dangerous, and a parent can object”, the lawyer warns. She recalls one specific instance: “A client had gifted her stepson a jet-ski ride. Everything was supervised, and the boy often rode motorcycles. However, the mother objected, deeming it unsafe, and called the center to withdraw her consent. In this case, they bear the responsibility, and thus, they canceled the outing.” In reality, she asserts that this mother “would not have prevailed in court” because the matter of ‘unusual’ acts is up to the judge’s discretion.

Indeed, any activity can be dangerous in one way or another: one could choke on ice cream, drown in a pool, or get injured while biking. “The danger is subjective, but these everyday activities are not inherently risky. It also depends on the child themselves“, Leroux reminds us. A jet-ski ride might be less risky for a teen who regularly rides motorcycles than for a child who cannot swim. Of course, if a parent brings this issue to family court solely based on this, “it will likely be dismissed, as the courts are too overwhelmed to address every disagreement“. However, if it’s not the first time the other parent has disregarded the rules by performing ‘unusual’ acts without agreement, “they could face penalties“.

The judge might decide that a parent is not upholding co-parenting and choose to “alter the custody arrangement“, possibly reducing their custody time. They might even impose “a civil fine or restrictions on certain activities“. In conclusion, it’s wise to secure the ex-partner’s permission for any potentially risky holiday activities. Or, if the other parent is unwilling to respect your viewpoint, directly inform the organizer to express your disagreement rather than “bothering a judge in the middle of August“.