Gray Divorce Boom: Over 50s, Especially Women, Find Joy in New Trend!

According to a report by Insee, among the divorces finalized in France in 1990, 10% of women and 14% of men were aged 50 and older. By 2010, these figures had increased to 24% for women and 32% for men, and by 2020, 47% of women and 37% of men were over 50 at the time of their divorce judgments. Known as “gray divorce,” this phenomenon reflects a global trend: in the United States, it accounts for one in four divorces. This rise is spurred by the simplification of procedures and the availability of legal information online, but it also stems from societal factors.

The End of Compromise

Christian Richomme, a psychoanalyst and author specializing in romantic relationships, notes that the increase in divorces among those over 50, referred to as “gray divorce,” is partly due to the culture of personal development. Prioritizing personal fulfillment has become acceptable, whereas previous generations might have endured unhappy marriages out of moral conviction. “The idea that one should stay with the same partner for life was deeply ingrained. Today, this notion is largely challenged. If our partner does not meet our needs, we are more likely to consider separation because our happiness comes first.” For women, reevaluating marriage has been made possible by gaining greater financial independence. Previously dependent on their spouses, they are now free to end a union without fearing for their economic stability. This empowerment explains why women are now the primary initiators of gray divorces.

Certain life stages can also trigger late divorces, such as when children leave home. This moment marks a turning point in the couple’s dynamics: “Suddenly finding yourself alone with your partner can make you realize that something isn’t working and that previously ignored or minimized issues resurface,” observes Christian Richomme. This realization might have been suppressed under the weight of family responsibilities: “Several patients have told me they waited for their children to leave the nest before daring to ask for a divorce. They feel like they’ve fulfilled their parental duties and can now think about themselves without guilt.”

Retirement, a Divorce Catalyst

Transitioning to retirement can also serve as a catalyst for divorce: “It’s a significant upheaval in a couple’s life to suddenly spend all day together, not just evenings and weekends.” This newfound closeness can uncover divergent aspirations and lead some couples to reconsider their shared future. This reassessment is even more meaningful in the context of increased life expectancy. With many years of freedom ahead, the desire to start anew, alone or with another partner, may become compelling.

While these late divorces provide an opportunity to start a new chapter aligned with personal desires, they remain difficult choices that some perceive as failures: “When you’ve been married a long time, it can feel like you’ve invested in a relationship for nothing, throwing away many years of shared life,” analyzes Christian Richomme. For him, it’s important to view separation not as a loss but as an experience: “A relationship that ends always teaches us something about who we are, how we wish to love and be loved.

A further step on the path to self-discovery, then, which can open up new romantic prospects: “You know what is good for you, which may not always be the case in your 20s or 30s. This discernment, gained with age, allows for more fulfilling encounters.” For the psychoanalyst, “regardless of our age, if we are in a situation of suffering, we must get out. Just because we are getting older does not mean we do not deserve happiness and love.” The growing popularity of dating apps targeted at those over 50 attests to this.