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Discover this simple trick that helps parents maintain their composure when their child acts out.
Every parent has faced this challenge at least once: your child pushes your limits, you try to keep your cool, but eventually, they get under your skin. The result: you might find yourself crying out of frustration, shouting, or overly punishing them without even realizing it. If this scenario sounds familiar, take heart; you are not alone. What’s more, there’s a proven technique to help you stay calm no matter what.
Dr. Jordana Mortimer, an American child psychologist, has developed an effective strategy for parents called “tap in, tap out.” Though the phrase might not translate directly into French, the concept is straightforward, as demonstrated in the explanatory video at the beginning of this article. When one parent senses that the other is losing patience with their child’s difficult behavior, they simply tap the other on the shoulder. This allows the overwhelmed parent to step out of the room while the other steps in to try to calm the situation.
This seemingly simple gesture allows the parent who is about to lose their temper to take a break and cool down their emotions. According to Dr. Mortimer, this method is particularly useful when a parent is overwhelmed by emotions and struggles to handle their child’s behavior. To implement this technique, parents first need to agree on a non-verbal signal, unknown to the children, to indicate that it’s time for the other parent to take over. This could be a hand on the shoulder, arm, or a gentle touch on the hand.
Once the signal is established, it’s crucial that both parents agree on one key aspect: not to feel offended if the other parent steps in. Additionally, the parent who takes over must commit to de-escalating the situation rather than exacerbating it. This approach allows parents to present a united front and prevent the situation from spiraling out of control. And for single parents, the expert recommends taking a moment to pause when feeling overwhelmed, allowing for a chance to step back and tackle the issue with their child more effectively.
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