Unpacking Childhood Trauma: Psychologist Reveals What Your Luggage Says About You

Before every vacation, a ritual unfolds in thousands of homes: packing. A simple task? Not quite. For psychoanalyst Christian Richomme, how we pack speaks volumes about “our way of living, loving, and protecting ourselves.” Parents are usually at the forefront. Packing isn’t just about filling a bag; it involves balancing the fear of forgetting something, the desire to do it right, and the stress of preparation. It’s a significant mental burden, often shouldered by mothers. Some start a week in advance, armed with lists, rolling clothes, packing “just in case” outfits, and an oversized emergency kit.

Eloise, a mother of a three-year-old boy, exemplifies this cautious approach: “On our last family trip abroad, I packed double the outfits for my son, along with purees, snacks, a complete first aid kit… all just in case he throws up, gets dirty, gets hungry, or falls ill… As a result: one whole suitcase just for him,” she shared. This is quite telling. According to a 2023 EasyJet study, 63% of women admit they pack too much “just in case,” and yet one in three French people still forgets an essential item.

Others procrastinate until the night before or even the morning of, hastily throwing some clothes, a toothbrush, and a favorite stuffed animal into a bag, hoping everything else will fall into place. Between these extremes are those who try to plan for everything and end up kneeling on their suitcase, struggling to fit in one last pair of shoes “just in case.” These strategies are not trivial. They may reveal “our inner wounds, unconscious needs, or deep desires,” the expert points out. Those who plan obsessively often seek to control everything, to prevent any possible mishap. “It’s a response to anxiety about the unknown, a need for absolute security,” he explains. Conversely, last-minute packers may sometimes exhibit “an emotional disinvestment, a refusal to commit to the departure, or a form of denial about the reality of the trip.”

And what about the items we pack? Worn-out stuffed animals, unused notebooks, four novels for a five-day trip, outfits that won’t be worn. According to Christian Richomme, “the suitcase becomes a transitional object: it holds not just items, but also our securities, our temporary identities.” In other words, it provides comfort. “Overpacked, it may symbolize a fear of facing emptiness, of scarcity, or an inability to make choices,” explains the psychoanalyst. This is often the case for many parents. Conversely, a lighter suitcase might reflect a need for detachment or a desire to prove that one needs nothing, “even if this nothing is sometimes an avoidance.”