45-Year-Old Woman Prefers Hairless Men: No Hair, No Fair!

My life is a living hell due to my fear of body hair. Not only because I can’t stand having hair on myself, but because I impose this obsession on my partners. All of them have eventually broken down, and today at 45, I find myself alone and childless. The connection to my phanerophobia (the medical term for an aversion to body hair) is obvious to me.

This all started when I was around 14 years old. Seeing pubic hair begin to grow on me was a real shock. I couldn’t tolerate it. From that moment on, I began to remove any hair as soon as it appeared. This extended to my armpits, legs, and even my arms. Then came the age of dating. That’s when real trouble started. I simply couldn’t touch hairy skin. At first, I said nothing and tried to hide my disgust.

“Seeing certain areas, like the testicles or back, triggers my gag reflex”

But at the sight of certain body parts, like the testicles or back, I would start gagging. By the time I was 20, after dumping my first two boyfriends without explanation, I decided to see a psychologist. Her response surprised me. She said: “A phobia never really cures, at best it’s managed, but first, you have to accept it.” I took her advice and started disclosing my phobia on all my first dates. Half of the men looked at me like I was from another planet, the other half as if I was extremely annoying. Yet, a few still gave it a shot.

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They would show up completely hairless on their back, buttocks, chest, pubis, and testicles. That was my absolute condition for them to get close to me while naked. And they couldn’t have beards either; otherwise, they had to make a stop at the bathroom first. Four or five men followed one after another, but none lasted more than six months. Yet for me, I enjoyed these relationships because I no longer had the obsession of getting a hair in my mouth, a thought that still makes me nauseous.

However, I could see that for men, it was too much to ask from a woman they weren’t truly in love with. Everything changed when I met Gaëtan in my 30s, as he fell madly in love with me without saying a word, while we hung out with mutual friends. One evening he declared his love, which was one of the happiest days of my life. But soon, we had to address my dreaded phobia. And with him, everything took on incredible proportions.

“I asked him to shave his armpits, thighs, and even his arms”

I don’t know if it was because he initially said yes to everything, but over the months we spent together, I became even more demanding. I asked him to shave his armpits, thighs, and even his arms. I could see that it affected his sense of masculinity, diminished him as a man, and he no longer wanted to go to the pool or the beach because of it. It was really hard to see him like this, but at the same time, I had what I had always dreamed of. A man completely devoid of hair, who loved me… We stayed together for 5 years. Of course, it was my phobia that eventually drove him away. His friends mocked him a lot, his mother thought it was “horrible,” and even my own parents thought I was going too far. I was in denial, refusing to see where the problem was. I understood when he left; it was too late.

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Since then, I’ve undergone behavioral therapy, and I can now tolerate seeing hair on people without feeling the urge to vomit. I even had a relationship for a few months with a man who didn’t shave his legs or chest. But I didn’t enjoy it. I don’t know if that’s why, but I couldn’t find pleasure with him. So, I’ve stopped seeing men.

“I’m now considering trying a relationship with a woman”

It saddens me, and I miss it, but I no longer want to be that demanding person, that person who vomits, that ‘crazy’ one. I’m now considering trying a relationship with a woman because maybe behind this story of hair, there lies a real phobia of men. I never knew my father… And I think all of this is certainly connected. So, until I undergo proper therapy to understand the root of the issue, it’s over… with men.