Can You Stay Faithful to One Partner Forever? Unveiling the Truth!

Over one-third of French men believe they might engage in infidelity if they could keep an extramarital affair secret. Additionally, 22% feel that lifelong fidelity is unattainable, according to statistics from the European Observatory of Infidelity. Christian Richomme, a psychoanalyst and couple’s therapist, shares this view. “With societal changes, loyalty today is more challenging because there are numerous modes of communication and more temptations. It feels like there are more choices,” states the expert.

While maintaining lifelong fidelity to one’s partner is not unachievable, it certainly isn’t instinctual. “Fidelity is built within the ‘us’ of the relationship; it’s crucial for trust and respect if that’s the agreed dynamic between partners,” Richomme adds. Long-married couples understand this well. According to the therapist, “fidelity shouldn’t be seen as a restriction but a benefit.” This commitment fosters a relationship based on trust, stability, and security.

This also requires the ability to communicate one’s needs to the partner and to nurture the bond between them. “The quality of the bond ensures fidelity. If you are happy with your partner, it reduces the desire to look elsewhere or move on.” This means creating a space within the relationship to strengthen the bond between the partners. “It requires maintaining your relationship, which can be neglected over time unlike the early stages when one tends to be more proactive,” the couple’s therapist notes. “Regular check-ins are necessary to address any shortcomings or needs,” continues Richomme.

“Fidelity is Emotional Maturity”

As a romantic relationship progresses over the years, desires also fluctuate. “Fidelity is a form of emotional maturity,” emphasizes the psychoanalyst. “It means managing one’s frustrations.” It also involves recognizing that one’s partner cannot fulfill every need and accepting them with their flaws and strengths. “To remain faithful, one must also move beyond the myth of perpetual passion. It’s about having a realistic ideal and growing together,” advises Richomme.

Therefore, while fidelity is a strong foundation for couples who regard it as a core value of their relationship, it ultimately remains a choice, as Richomme concludes: “We don’t stay faithful because we’re never attracted to others—after all, we encounter so many different people—but because we choose to remain so.”