Perfect Comeback for Kids: Expert Reveals What to Say When Bullied!

Schoolyards can be harsh environments. A word, a nickname, or mocking laughter can change everything. The hurt child often doesn’t know how to respond. Some may hang their heads low, while others might respond aggressively. In either case, it’s usually the attacker who ends up feeling more empowered and the victim who loses confidence. To break this cycle, a parenting expert has devised a structured response that any child can learn. This response puts things in their place without causing harm, yet it doesn’t let the insult pass unaddressed. Its goal is to restore control to the child.

Laurie Gozlan, who is followed by thousands of parents on Instagram under her account @_petit_deviendra_grand_, has shared what she calls the “perfect” technique to defuse verbal attacks. This technique involves a series of thoughtfully crafted phrases designed to decrease tension while compelling the aggressor to confront their own words. The approach is purposefully structured, starting with a polite request, followed by a direct comment, and ending with an unexpected statement. Each step serves a specific purpose.

The first step is to break the initial shock, which often amplifies the impact of the insult. The child is advised to say: “Excuse me, could you repeat what you just said? I didn’t quite catch that.” By asking the aggressor to repeat their words, it creates a pause, a kind of void. It’s a way of saying: “You want to hurt me? Say it clearly.” According to Laurie Gozlan, this step alone is often enough. The aggressor usually backs down. There’s no further reaction to provoke, no escalation of emotions, no audience to impress.

If the aggressor repeats the insult, there’s a second response that’s more direct and shows that the child won’t be dragged down and instead reverses the roles. Here, the expert suggests saying: “OK, I heard you clearly this time. Did it feel good to say that to me?” Now, it’s the aggressor who might feel vulnerable, as if they are seeking some form of attention or validation through the insult. If the aggressor persists, then the final step is designed to end the interaction humorously while setting a clear boundary. This time, it’s no longer about defending oneself, but about saying enough: “What you said is garbage. It’s your garbage, and I’m not going to take it because it stinks. Next time, if you don’t want me to give you my garbage too, keep yours to yourself. Thanks.”

This method allows the child to maintain dignity and calmness without putting themselves in an offensive or weak position. It provides a framework and support for reacting without resorting to violence or silence. It’s not about making the child stronger than others, but about helping them not feel small in the face of aggression.