Say Goodbye to Gentle Parenting: This New Approach is Taking Over

Many parents are growing weary of the constant buzz around positive parenting. Over the last decade, this parenting style, which emphasizes kindness, emotional support, and respect for children, has exploded in popularity on social media. But as with any trend, it has begun to wear thin: today, many criticize this “gentle parenting” as being overly permissive, overprotective, or just downright exhausting. Gentle parenting typically involves explaining every parental decision in detail to the child, encouraging them to express their emotions, and maintaining calm at all times. Numerous parents view this approach as idealistic and out of touch with everyday reality.

That’s why a new parenting trend is emerging: contrary to the doctrine of positive education, this method advocates for a more laid-back approach and is gaining a growing following on social media. Gone are the lengthy lectures and moralizing—now, the prevailing parenting philosophy is to “let it go”… almost. This method is called FAFO, short for “Fuck Around and Find Out,” which, to put it politely, means “Mess up and see what happens.” The term has been around for years but gained traction among American and British parents in 2025 and is now gradually catching on in France. Various videos and accounts on this topic have already amassed millions of views.

Clearly, the concept isn’t about letting children fend for themselves and neglecting parental responsibilities altogether. It’s more about allowing children to understand and face the natural consequences of their actions without excessive interference. For instance, instead of scolding a child who forgets their umbrella or rushing to bring them another, the idea is to say, “Too bad, you’ll walk in the rain.” This approach can apply in many scenarios, such as a child who refuses to tidy up their toys. If someone steps on a toy and breaks it, the lesson will quickly be learned. However, just like with positive parenting, the key is not to take the principle too far: gentle parenting should still enforce limits and consequences, whereas the FAFO method doesn’t necessarily need to be punitive or humiliating.

And naturally, it’s not advisable to apply this in a risky situation or to descend into complete indifference. “If a child doesn’t eat, they’ll be hungry. It might be unpleasant, but missing a meal or a snack isn’t dangerous. Being rude to a friend might mean they won’t want to play anymore, but pushing or injuring a friend is dangerous behavior that does not fall under the FAFO method,” explains psychologist and coach Tamara Glen Soles to the American magazine Parents.

As with everything in child-rearing, nothing is entirely black or white: the goal is to find a balance. Indeed, in 2022, researchers from the University of Marburg in Germany demonstrated that teenagers raised in an “authoritative” parenting environment, which is both firm and nurturing, exhibited better emotional regulation than those raised in either punitive or permissive settings.