Psychologist Reveals: Act This Way to Be a Great Parent!

Parenting comes in many forms and there’s no one-size-fits-all guide. Modern parents often set high standards for themselves, striving for perfection and constantly wondering if they’re doing enough or doing it right. Researchers and experts have explored what it means to be a good parent and concluded that it often boils down to the little things. Developmental psychologist Diana Baumrind identified four parenting styles—authoritative, permissive, authoritarian, and uninvolved—and studied their effects on child development. She found that a balance between warmth and discipline fosters healthy human development. The key is to love and cherish your children while also setting boundaries. Implementing four key pieces of advice, as detailed by the American site Fortune, could help achieve this.

First, fully engage in your relationship with your child. Play therapist Brenna Hicks believes that when a parent fully commits to loving and accepting their child unconditionally, everything else follows. “Even in their worst moments—whether they’re angry, yelling, upset, or disobedient—if they know you won’t change your relationship with them, it greatly motivates them to behave better and thrive,” she explains. However, this doesn’t mean accepting all behaviors; it’s crucial for parents to set boundaries.

Next, encourage your child to develop their individuality and independence. “Listen to what excites and motivates your child and support them, rather than imposing your own ideas of who they should be,” says clinical psychologist Emily Edlynn. This approach helps children feel comfortable being themselves around you, which makes them more likely to confide in you. “If they come to you saying, ‘I’ve embarrassed myself’ or ‘I made a big mistake,’ it shows they know you will love and accept them as they are, without judgment,” Edlynn notes.

Another tip: do your best and make amends when you err. Parents can fluctuate between being too permissive and too authoritarian, even within a single day. What matters is finding a balance. Owning up to your mistakes in front of your children and showing vulnerability teaches them empathy. “Love means trying again,” states Eileen Kennedy-Moore.

Finally, don’t neglect your own needs. Being a parent has never been more stressful. “Developmental science shows that stressed parents find it harder to maintain healthy relationships,” says Terri Sabol. “The pressure to be perfect can actually counteract what parents are trying to achieve,” she adds. Her advice? When struggling to find the right balance in parenting, between setting too many limits and not enough closeness, take time for yourself. “Tap into your reserves, take a break, go for a walk, have a nap. And most importantly, treat yourself,” she emphasizes.