Why Aren’t We Trying to Save Our Relationships Anymore? Discover the Reasons!

It’s a clear trend: modern couples are parting ways more readily than those in the past. According to Sandrine Carême, a sexologist and couples therapist, this trend is no accident but a reflection of societal evolution and the new challenges couples face today. “In the past, there was significant pressure to stay together for the children, to uphold family honor, or to adhere to tradition. Nowadays, separation, divorce, and even staying single are more accepted in society. It has become easier to separate than to make an effort to save a relationship,” states our expert right off the bat.

Moreover, there’s a current emphasis on independence and personal development. Individual fulfillment is prioritized over relational growth in today’s society. “The pursuit of personal happiness now overshadows the concept of partnership. That’s why, when one feels frustrated or unhappy, leaving a partner who may be seen as a hindrance or obstacle to one’s own needs and interests becomes a preferred option,” the therapist elaborates.

The shift in roles within relationships also offers some explanations. “With financial independence (though sometimes relative), women face fewer threats. Thus, they find it easier to consider managing alone rather than trying to salvage a relationship that no longer suits them,” Carême suggests. Not to mention, the plethora of dating options today makes people believe it’s easier to find a new partner and start a fresh story than to work on a faltering existing relationship. This reflects a consumerist approach to love and relationships.

Family and work pressures further drain both partners’ energy, leaving them tired and disillusioned with daily life. With already so much effort poured into their careers, they lack the energy to invest in a dwindling romantic relationship. “A negative view of the relationship emerges, seen more as a burden than the joy and excitement that marked its beginning. The desire to sacrifice and dedicate time to the relationship fades,” continues the therapist.

Ultimately, sometimes no more effort is made to save a relationship because one has already done a lot. Perhaps one partner thinks, “I’ve tried, I’ve attempted to improve the relationship, I’ve sought better communication, but my partner isn’t responsive.” When only one partner is committed to nurturing the relationship, the other may give up. After all, it’s no secret that for a relationship to last, both must be fully engaged.

Special thanks to Sandrine Carême, sexologist and couples therapist.