The #1 Must-Ask Question Before Filing for Divorce to Avoid Regrets!

In the United States, half of all marriages end in divorce, according to the National Center for Health Statistics. Yet, before jumping to this resolution, it’s crucial to consider several aspects to prevent potential regrets. “Decisions about divorce should not be made abruptly or impulsively. It’s vital to reflect on the reasons that are leading us to contemplate divorce,” believes Dr. Sébastien Garnero, a clinical psychologist and sexologist.

He points out the importance of understanding what one is seeking through the divorce, whether initiated by oneself or the other partner. “Often, it’s a cry for help, perhaps feeling trapped in the relationship and needing more freedom. It could also be a way of escaping, a strategy to avoid dealing with a conflict that we’ve created because of personal issues like illness, death, or other family matters.” The clinical psychologist also suggests considering whether one is emotionally, financially, and psychologically prepared to go through with a divorce. Is the decision well thought out, or is it a spur-of-the-moment idea?

However, the first question one should ask, both individually and as a couple, before starting divorce proceedings is: have we tried everything to save our relationship? Have we gone to couples therapy? Have we communicated adequately? Have we implemented changes to improve the situation? “A couple that is struggling doesn’t necessarily need to separate; often, it indicates that a change in behavior is necessary to recover,” notes the expert.

After pondering these questions, “it’s advisable to determine whether we are capable of separating in a constructive rather than destructive manner, respecting each other. Or perhaps there’s a chance to reinvent ourselves through this crisis?” When there are still feelings of love and shared values that shape our life views and our concept of marriage and family, especially if there are children involved, it’s possible to work together to change our dynamics and avoid initiating divorce proceedings.

Thanks to Dr. Sébastien Garnero, Doctor of Psychology, Clinical Psychologist, Hypnotherapist, Psychotherapist, and Sexologist.