Women Embrace Masturbation for Mood Boosts: “It Helps When I’m Sad or Upset…”

According to a recent INSERM survey on the sexual behavior of French women, about 73% of women have masturbated. This practice, long condemned, is finally beginning to be socially accepted. Today, many women openly assert their right to self-pleasure, like Pauline and Manon, who find personal fulfillment in masturbation that positively affects both their sex lives and their mental health. They shared their stories with Women’s Journal.

For many years, Manon, 30, thought she “had a problem.” Struggling to find sexual pleasure with her partners, she believed she might have a medical condition: “I felt broken, and even wondered if I might have vaginismus. I felt nothing; I had never experienced an orgasm.” Concerned, she consulted a gynecologist for a diagnosis. “She asked me what gave me pleasure. I realized I didn’t know because I was afraid to masturbate.” The man Manon was with at the time was not open-minded about the subject: “He thought if you buy sex toys while in a relationship, it means you’re a nymphomaniac. That held me back. I only started after we broke up.”

“It Took Time to Discover What I Liked”

Encouraged by her gynecologist to explore her body, Manon began using sex toys. “It was a turning point. Once I realized that yes, I could have orgasms, sometimes in three minutes, I understood the problem wasn’t with me.” Since then, she regularly indulges in solo pleasure, which has greatly improved her self-confidence and her relationships: “It took time to discover what I liked, I tried many things. Now I know myself better, which allows me to guide my partners and also to say no if something hurts because now I know that’s not normal.” Pauline, 28, shares a similar experience, having masturbated since childhood: “It’s not daily, but it is regular. It has helped me identify what moves I enjoy, although I don’t necessarily want to replicate what I do alone with a partner. I think it has made me more open-minded and helped me relax. For me, sex and masturbation aren’t taboos, and that shows in my intimate life.”

For both women, the benefits of masturbation extend beyond the pleasure it provides. Pauline finds it uplifting when she’s feeling down: “It helps me feel better when I’m a bit sad or in a bad mood.” Manon, who suffers from anxiety, also finds it a natural way to regain her calm: “I feel more relaxed. It’s like a little antidepressant.” Masturbating also helps her relieve bedtime tension: “I often do it in the evening when I can’t sleep. It helps me calm down and fall asleep.” The endorphins released during orgasm also have a recognized pain-relieving effect. “It soothes my headaches or the itching that can occur during my period,” Manon confirms.

Although both women are comfortable with their regular masturbation, they regret that it still faces stigmatization. Manon sometimes senses discomfort from her sexual partners: “They take it as a personal criticism, as if they’re not enough. Yet male masturbation is widely accepted. Just because I don’t get erections every morning, doesn’t mean I don’t have desires! I too want an orgasm every day, whether when I wake up or before bed!” she asserts. Pauline also doesn’t understand the stigma: “It’s key to sexual fulfillment for me. Knowing how to enjoy oneself alone is crucial to enjoying it with another.” Fortunately, this topic is no longer taboo with her current partner: “He understands that a woman comfortable with her body and sexuality is always a plus.” And he is absolutely right.

The names have been changed.