How to Help Your Highly Sensitive Child Manage Their Emotions!

When you raise your voice even slightly, your child is on the verge of tears, appears more sensitive than other children, or is often on edge. If these seemingly extreme reactions are just part of their personality, they can sometimes indicate internal distress or suffering. How can you help a highly sensitive child? Clinical psychologist Léa Gouz-Cymerman helps us understand more.

Why Are Some Children Highly Sensitive?

An emotional child pays more attention to their surroundings and thus, develops stronger empathy

Children vary in their level of emotionality. “Emotionality or hypersensitivity is neither a diagnosis nor a pathology. It’s a personality trait that some children may have,” reassures Léa Gouz-Cymerman. “A ‘too sensitive’ child might overreact, experience heightened emotions in response to external stimuli or during times of change, often be on edge, or on the verge of tears,” she continues.

Is It Sensitivity or Anxiety?

First, “it’s important to distinguish sensitivity as a personality trait that the child needs to live with from hypersensitivity or excessive emotionality as a sign of an anxious child,” the psychologist explains, adding that it’s crucial to “check if this heightened sensitivity is masking underlying anxieties or discomfort in the child” (academic difficulties, bullying, mockery, social integration issues…). Also, these fears should not be linked to past painful experiences (loss of a loved one, parental depression, divorce, family tensions…). However, rest assured, when they’re young, all children struggle to control their emotions and to handle frustration and setbacks. As children grow and through different life experiences, whether at school or in their personal lives, they learn to manage the array of emotions they experience. Nevertheless, some children retain this emotionality and tend to be more observant of their surroundings or develop stronger empathy and emotional reactivity. There’s absolutely nothing abnormal about this. But to release their emotions, they might need more support…

How Can You Support a Highly Sensitive Child?

Instead of scolding them, mocking their behavior, or losing patience when they display disproportionate reactions, try to understand the root of their high emotionality. In other words, “why did the child have an exaggerated reaction and take the remark or situation to heart?“, suggests the psychologist. Has there been a recent change in their life? How long have they been too sensitive? Could this be hiding underlying anxieties that the child is struggling to express? Help them to express their emotions through words – even if they seem harsh or impulsive – or tears: this could help them release a buildup of emotions. The goal is not to pity them, but to show that you understand what they’re feeling. Similarly, if they get offended or hurt by a remark you make, try to explain the situation using simple words suitable for their age, be reassuring, and let them know that you understand their pain or anger.

Most importantly, instead of labeling them as “highly sensitive,” help them rely on the strengths that come with this trait, which can also be a sign of high emotional intelligence. Therefore, try to empower them by explaining that being overly sensitive can also be an advantage: being more receptive than average, highly sensitive children are usually more attentive to others, and are perfectly capable of using this sensitivity to enhance their artistic creativity, build rich and deep relationships with others, and develop a great capacity for empathy. Additionally, artistic activities (drawing, painting, singing…) or sports (martial arts, dance, team sports…) can teach them how to manage their stress and express their feelings. Meditation, yoga, or sophrology can, in some cases, help the child relax and channel their energy.

Should You Consult a Specialist?

If your child’s behaviors are particularly challenging to deal with on a daily basis or if, after talking to them, you still can’t pinpoint the cause of their distress, you might consider consulting a psychologist or a child psychiatrist to assess your child’s difficulties and determine if there is something more profound, like underlying anxieties or depression. They can also offer guidance. “The initial therapeutic consultations are typically conducted with the child accompanied by their parents to determine if the child needs individual follow-up afterwards,” she concludes.

What Sports are Suitable for a Highly Sensitive Child?

Many activities can help highly sensitive children channel their emotions. Whether it’s through sports, but also through a book, a story, an artistic activity, or relaxation, children can enhance and transform their energy in different ways. How about trying a sophrology or yoga class tailored for children?

Books for Highly Sensitive Children

Ycare, a Sensitive Child

Elodie Crépel created the character of Ycare to support highly sensitive children. Ycare is a highly sensitive boy who learns to turn what many see as a flaw into a superpower. After Ycare at School, he returns in Ycare, a Sensitive Child. The book includes two beautiful stories: “Skiing with Dad,” where the boy faces teasing from his peers because he can’t ski, and his father reassures him with kindness. In “Grandpa’s Kite,” he is very sad when his grandfather’s kite breaks. Here again, the message is to value hypersensitivity. A playful tool ideal for supporting highly sensitive children with a character they can relate to!

Emotions, When It’s Overwhelming

What should you do when your child feels overwhelmed by their emotions? How should you respond to their fears, anger, or sadness? What should you understand from their state? Co-authored by psychotherapist Catherine Aimelet-Périssol, an expert on emotions, the book “Emotions, When It’s Overwhelming!” from Leduc Editions offers advice for parents and simple, concrete tools to help children make sense of their emotions, welcome them, understand them, and tame them on a daily basis. The book also includes testimonials from parents, clear diagrams to understand how an emotion spreads through the body and mind, and exercises to analyze your child’s behavior.

Emoticards: A Game for Children

Developed by sophrologist Patrice IACOVELLA in collaboration with therapists, teachers, and educators, Emoticards is a game that helps children better manage their emotions in various situations. With different cards – red for unpleasant emotions (restlessness, anger, boredom, frustration, sadness…) and yellow for pleasant emotions (joy, pleasure, calm, self-confidence…), which explain what the child feels in those states. The blue cards offer small meditation or relaxation exercises to feel good. Aimed at children over 5 years old, this game allows children to name their emotions, build self-esteem, and manage stress depending on different situations they may encounter. (20 euros, available for order on www.emoticartes.com and on Amazon)