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Even though breakups are never easy to go through and accept, being left gently can lessen the pain.
When feelings change and the joy of being together fades, the desire to end the relationship may arise, yet knowing how to do so without causing hurt can be quite challenging. This becomes even more difficult when the relationship has lasted a long time, disrupting a well-established and comfortable life pattern.
Out of respect for the other person, it’s better to end things gently. This approach helps maintain a positive perception of the relationship for both parties. “Such a breakup won’t leave a bitter taste, as it doesn’t place blame on the partner,” notes couples therapist Evelyne Dillenseger. “It also shows a commitment to treating the other person with empathy and respect.” Even if love has faded, a remaining fondness leads to a protective attitude, avoiding any harm or destruction. Certain behaviors can promote a gentle separation:
Anticipate: Although it may be difficult, it’s important to express concerns about aspects of the relationship that aren’t working well in advance. “It’s about identifying the issues early on,” the professional explains. When the breakup occurs, it can be easier to remind the other person that they were forewarned.
Communicate the breakup face-to-face: “Announcing it in person and taking the time to explain calmly helps the partner understand the decision better,” emphasizes the therapist. Avoid leaving a voicemail or sending a brief text message. Worse still, avoid ghosting—which is abruptly cutting off communication without explanation—as often seen on social media. “Don’t disappear without a word, without ghosting the other overnight,” advises Dillenseger.
Avoid mixed messages: It’s crucial to be certain of your decision before expressing it to prevent any back-and-forth or hesitation that could damage the relationship’s conclusion. “It’s important not to play games or give false hope by sending mixed signals,” warns Evelyne Dillenseger.
Prepare mentally: Reflecting in advance on what you want to say is essential. Ending things gently means choosing your words carefully to avoid hurting the other person. “You can mentally prepare by rehearsing your words. Even if you’re deeply hurt, opting for non-violent communication is the best approach,” the professional advises.
Speak calmly: If the relationship is over, there’s no point in unleashing all your frustrations, as it only causes more pain. According to the couples therapist, “it’s necessary to be clear and firm without settling scores, it’s too late for that.”
Ensure the other is supported: A breakup, even a gentle one, is still a tough ordeal. Making sure the other person will have support from friends and family can make the process less difficult. “It’s important to know that the partner can be consoled by someone,” the professional adds.
A gentle breakup can indeed be beneficial for the aftermath, for both parties involved. “It allows keeping the best memories,” concludes Evelyne Dillenseger.
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Nora Caldwell brings over a decade of experience in entertainment journalism to the Belles and Gals team. With a background in celebrity interviews and TV critiques, Avery ensures that every story we publish is engaging and accurate. Passionate about pop culture, they lead our editorial team with creativity and precision.
